G’s Official Recap of TNA Impact 6-27-2013

 

credit goes to www.deviantart.com

credit goes to www.deviantart.com

The night opens up with Sting coming to the ring, alone for now, as the Main Event Mafia music strums in the background. Once in the ring, The Icon addresses the crowd and even has a few words directed to Bully Ray. He promises that what Bully Ray experienced last week is just the very beginning for what is to be expected. And with that he calls on his co-member of the Main Event Mafia to join him in the ring.

Angle makes his way to join Sting in the ring.

With the original members of the MEM now in the ring together, they tag team the airwaves with describing how in the good ole days the only thing needed for membership was that each member was once a heavyweight champ. But now membership requirements have gone through an upgrade. Due to what Aces & Eights have done lately, primarily taking Sting out of all future contendership for future title shot and screwing Angle from the Bound for Glory tournament, all members of this generation of MEM will share two goals.

1. To destroy the aces and eights and

2. To make sure Bully Ray Dudley loses the title belt.

Oh yeah…plus the current co-captains of MEM will be introducing us all to a third member later tonight.


Next thing we see is Chris Sabin walking down the hall that is until he gets ambushed by Doc and brought to a wrapped up sit down with Bully Ray Dudley. With Sabin’s undivided attention now fully engaged, Bully Ray wishes him well for his match up later tonight and, in the end, hopes he does the right thing…the right thing being not cashing in a shot for Heavyweight title.

Bully Ray reminds Sabin, in case he had any doubt, who he is. Ray reminds Sabin that he is the TNA Heavyweight Champion. Bully Ray reminds Chris Sabin that he is a bad man. He reminds him that it is not the right thing to challenge him…at any time. And with that, Doc is given permission to let Sabin go.

Sabin walks away, no longer keeping his back to Aces & Eights.


X Division Triple Threat Match

Chris Sabin –vs– Suicide –vs–-Kenny King

As a recap and as promised by Hulk Hogan from last week, this triple threat has the former champion, the current champion, and a potential champion doing battle for not only the X-Division title but to the chance to then turn in that title for a shot at the TNA Heavyweight Championship.

And with all that on the line, all three came prepared for a war. Things start off with the expected 3 man `Mexican standoff’ which is quickly conquered thanks to King thumbing Sabin in the eye and then sweeping Suicide off his feet. A short series of hustle and muscle by King is ended thanks to his co-competitors double-drop kicking him back to a level playing field. The remainder of this ring time is triple-highlighted by

–          Kenny King being set up in a tree of woe with Suicide squashed behind him, both men taking in the full throttle, running drop kick from Sabin.

–          Suicide and Sabin tussling against one another while perched on the top ropes and then both men being superplexed from said perch by King.

–          Suicide rolling King into a small package, albeit with an outstretched hand grasping at the nearby ropes.

That third part being the final series in the match up as the referee did not notice the rope hold and called for the deciding bell.

But hold on a minute, even with the unseen tactic which ended this bout, why is Hulk Hogan now making his way to the entrance way? Why does he have a battered and bruised TJ Perkins with him? Isn’t TJ the man also known as Suicide? Well, much like his short lived reality show, we are soon to learn again that in some cases, much this case, Hogan knows best ( #PopCultureReference ).

Hogan explains that earlier tonight someone attacked TJ in the backstage area, stole his gimmick, and made off scot free. With that person now being the same imposter who just got his hand raised in the triple threat, Hogan demands that we all find out who the man is. And with that call to arms, the shameful second hand Suicide scrambles out of the ring and escapes the unmasking…for now.

Official Results: a Suicide wins and gains the X Division Championship by pin fall


Gut Check Challenge Match

Ryan Howe  –vs–  Adam Ohriner

Amateur chain wrestling is equally shared and showcased by both newcomers in the beginning. In the middle we see how well Ohriner’s power game is met most evenly by Howe’s quick pace. And in the end, even though Howe brought 100% heart and determination with him, it becomes clear that Ohriner had 10% more and finds himself on the receiving end of a win.

Official Results: Adam Ohriner wins by pin fall.


Now in the TNA locker room, we see Bully Ray Dudley has a more honest sit down with TJ Perkins, more honest than that he had with Sabin earlier tonight that is. Bully Ray tries his best to befriend TJ. Bully Ray wants to know one thing…are Sting and Angle the ones behind this whole second-Suicide scheme?

TJ denies knowing who is involved.

Bully Ray is not sure if he is being understood, so he bluntly asks the same question to the same man for a second time.

TJ double denies knowing who is under his mask, and then TJ walks out on Bully Ray.


Knock Out Championship match

Velvet Sky  –vs–  Mickie James (champion)

Mickie starts with the microphone in hand and with an apology escaping his lips, an apology for how Velvet Sky has changed recently. Mickie goes on to give her challenger `one last chance to simply walk away’. With that offer still hanging wistfully in the air, Velvet decides to spear her “no thanks” reply straight into Mickie.

From that point we see a “medically clear” Velvet Sky take almost everything she had to the `hard core country’ competitor. In return, the current Knock Out Champion turns the match her way by way of aiming all her angst onto Velvet’s recently recovered knee…all the way to a backwoods variation of a Boston crab –slash– death lock maneuver which eventually gives her the win.

As Mickie James dances her way back up the ramp, revelling in her own good job of retaining her championship belt at the cost of her former best friend’s health and wellbeing, a distort and depressed Velvet Sky can not help herself but to weep wildly as she takes stock in just unprepared she really was for this to happen to her again.

Official results: Mickie James retains the TNA Knock Outs Championship via submission


Bound for Glory Series match up

Magnus (currently with 10 points)  –vs– Bobby Roode (currently with 0 points)

These men show how equal they are in strength. Both athletes display how evenly fit they both are on the physical side of the wrestling equation. However, Bobby Roode’s ability to quicken the pace seemed to be the difference maker between them…that is until Magnus’ permanent persistence edged him out of a finishing attempt and into a pin fall.

Official Results: Magnus wins by pin fall and now has 17 points.


We are rushed to the backstage area to find Bully Ray, Doc, and Mr. Anderson confront the likes of Chavo, Robbie E, and Jessie Godderz. With nowhere left to go, Bully Ray puts out to all three of the non-brotherhood members.

“Do you know who I am?” and “Are you the one going around pretending to be Suicide?”

In which all three man, in their styles and mannerisms, bluntly respond with a somber “yes” and a strong “no”.

And now they too are free to go without any further interference from Bully Ray or any member of his brotherhood.


The TNA tag team champions, Gunner and James Storm are now in the ring jaw jacking the crowd into a frenzy as to why they are who they…first why they are a tag team to begin with and how they got to be the champions of said division. All is good until Robbie E and Jessie Godderz (with Tara at his side) decide to join them in the ring. Now the ring stands loaded with TNA tag team talent.

But it does not stay that way for long. Thanks first to a quick debate over whether or not Robbie E & Jessie G are “an item now” (that being due to unclarity if their tag team name is Bro-mance or Bro-Mans) and the current TNA tag team champions jointly referring to Tara as being the living definition of a “butter face” (yes, another #PopCultureReference ). With that, as well as a sharply placed knockout punch from Gunner to Jessie, the Bros are sent packing back up the ramp as Storm send his alcohol lanced apologies and concerns ala “Sorry bout your damn luck!” ( #CatchPhrase ).


Bound for Glory Series match up

Mr. Anderson (currently with 7 points)  –vs – Samoa Joe (currently with 2 points)

As verbally illustrated by Taz at ring side, the last thing Anderson wanted was to get into a striking and or kicking contest with Samoa Joe, but that is precisely where he is for the heading of this bout. Thanks to his own slick sidesteps though he does not stay there for too, and he does find his way to stubborn 2 count a series of times. Showing signs of distress similar to how things were last week; one is not too surprised that this was when two members of Aces & Eights march their way to ringside.

First they are there merely to distract Samoa Joe and give Anderson the element of surprise over his opponent. But when that only leads to another 2 count, the additional members of the brotherhood nearly get themselves into the ring as well. The only two things that stopped them of course was the referee standing as much of his ground from them doing so and…The Main Event Mafia members crashing down on ringside and beating the brotherhood members back a safe and now bruised distance away.

With Sting and Angle making this a fair fight again, Samoa Joe does the rest as he arrests Anderson into a sharp and sturdy submission maneuver. And after having his hands raised in victory by the referee and then by Sting and Angle in unison, Samoa Joe is casually offered a membership into the MEM.

Samoa Joe is only too happy to accept and is given three things in return; a family sized handshake by Sting and Angle, a fine laced suit just his size, and verbal guarantee from his now family members, “You’re gonna love the way you look, we guarantee it!” (that makes three #PopCultreReference  at least tonight, what a roll!).

Official Results: Samoa Joe wins by submission and now has 12 points)


With all the matches now in books for this week, we are left with only one thing left to be done.

And that starts with Hulk Hogan strutting his way to the ring with microphone in hand and demon like determination in mind. Hogan calls out for tonight’s pseudo-Suicide to join him in the ring, which does happen, and then demands for him to unmask right there and then, which does not happen. What does happen at that moment is that the leader of the pack, Bully Ray, enters the ring. Once he is there, he sides with Hogan in wanting to know who’s under the mask by asking him the same questions he has been putting against other TNA talent tonight, “Do you know who I am?”  and “Who is under that mask?”

Possibly because he got just as tired as the rest of us from hearing the TNA Heavyweight Champion repeat himself so many times or because it was his plan all along, this pseudo-Suicide person speaks out with questions and answers of his own variety. He admits that while everyone knows who Bully Ray is, it is he who has already defeated him once before…and he will be defeated once again. Not just defeated, mind you, but when it happens, Bully Ray will know the true meaning of defeat…so says…

[Unmasking]

Austin Aires!

And with that, with Hogan, Bully Ray, the announcers at ring side, and probably the majority of live crowd and those watching this at him all in shock, awe, and wonder…with all that a cocky and robust Austin Aires, still wearing the remainder of the Suicide suit, struts himself up the ramp way – which marches us up and away into the end of another TNA broadcast.