G’s Official Review of Smackdown 6 – 28 – 2013


This Friday brings us onto the University of South Carolina’s campus grounds. Soon after Michael Cole sets the tone for what sounds like another amazing night of wrestling greatness we are welcome to the first match of said night.

Match #1

Dublin Street Fight

Sheamus  – vs – Sandow

Bringing the last few weeks’ rollercoaster series of bouts to a unique conclusion brings both competitors to tonight’s internationally flavoured meeting.  The bout does not start, though, until after Sandow speaks his mind with comparing the GameCocks citizens (referring to University of South Carolina mascot within other realms of the sporting world) as model third world masses of mediocrity.  And for that all his critiquing efforts, Sandow takes on fistfuls of Irish brutality.

Sandow is quickly taken from ring post to theme-oriented bar set up outside of the ring to the very next ring post, plus a full blown stout keg gut check brought to fruition within said series of strength and stamina. Soon after all that Sandow does bring Sheamus down a few notches thanks to an intelligently placed chair to the Celtic chin, leading to a sturdy 2 count. A repeated, equally educated use of a steel chair leads to an repeated 2 count.

Before a threepeat (insert flashback to the 1993 Chicago Bulls) of metal madness could be thought of, Sheamus rebelled back to true form and eventually ended with Sandow seated on the same two chairs that were used against him. With Sandow now placed in a staged seated position, Sheamus uses this next few seconds sensibly with a boastful Bro kick.

Safe to say now, the name “Dublin Street Fight” stays safe in Sheamus’ hands…(or should I say “thanks to Sheamus’ fancy footwork” ?!)

Official Results: Sheamus by pin fall.

We are quick to find Kane preparing himself for his match later tonight versus Randy Orton. Almost as quick is Daniel Bryant to join in on the scene. Daniel is calm and collected as he reminds all of us, especially Kane, of his submission win over Orton earlier this week.  Meant as bonus feature for the evening especially earned by `The Big Red Machine’, Daniel states that he will there for him at the commentary. To seal the deal, a positively charged Daniel wraps on a huge hug around his former tag team partner – nothing is given in return.

Daniel feels that nothing is being given back so he does the right thing…he lets go and calmly walks off the scene. He has now left us with a snorting, grunting, fuming, ready-to-burst Kane set before us. And that is when we do just as much of the right thing…we leave the scene now too.

Miz TV

As we arrive back to the ring, Miz and Paul Heyman are already on set. With Heyman denying to directly answer the first question set to him, Miz reviews back to last week’s Paul Heyman segment, defends Renee Young against how brutal Heyman was to her, and queries whether Heyman would try to bully him this week. Paul ponders what is put to him for a New York minute (time conversion is 15 seconds for those who are wondering) before putting forward pseudo-respect to Miz as an entertainer and then, in place of him answering Miz’s bully question, invites Curtis Axel onto the show.

With his guest now bringing on a guest of his own onto the show, Miz commits Heyman to still being a misleading and unfinished individual. The Miz turns his mic skills onto the secondary visitor of the evening. Miz starts by voicing accusations that Curtis Axel is simply keeping the Intercontential Championship belt warm before losing it to the Miz, thanks to Axel is being a perfect match to his agent [Heyman] and more importantly because the show’s host is “The Miz and he is…” Sentence is left unfinished thanks to Axel snapping into action via a hostile attack on the Miz.

Paul and Curtis are seen walking right back up the ramp way as the awesome one is left in the ring. Heyman and Axel are laughing at their recent object of ridicule while the Miz peers at what now sure to be his future focus of reckoning.

Diva’s Match

AJ Lee (with Big E Langston)  – vs – Natalya

Prior to the starting bell sounding we bear witness to a second AJ Lee at the entrance wrap. Actually, upon closer inspection it is clearly Kaitlyn rendering her best AJ impersonation (an amazingly accurate one at that).  AJ’s imposter prances along the entrance way whilst showing photo-replay of who AJ has had close-slash-sexual relations with in recent times, a list ranging from Daniel Bryant to Ziggler to proposing an exploratory episode with Lillian Garcia.

The bell sounds and Natalya leads the charge full tilt. Excellent execution of every move on a clearly distracted AJ prime eventually lends itself into a roll up pin and win for the third generation of the Hart family. As a merry Natalya celebrates her non-title win over the WWE Divas champion, the champion herself is made more miserable part and parcel to strong bow spear shot at her by her own imposter.  And as Big E rolls up the remaining pieces the real AJ Lee to carry her to the backstage, Kaitlyn Lee struts her stuff and her own personal win in the ring – all the delight of the live crowd around her.

Official Results: Natalya wins by pin fall.

With Booker T off site and Vickie Guerrero already setting up her brand’s line up for the upcoming WWE PPV ( #MoneyInTheBank ), it leaves us with Vince McMahon and Teddy Long to talk over SmackDown’s line up for said event. Wanting to best Guerrero ‘s style of choosing only top contenders, Teddy has decided to mix top contenders with up and coming combatants. He announces the following names for Smackdown Superstars about to strive for a shot at the Heavyweight Championship ;

–          Wade Barrett                     –   Antonio Cessaro          –  Jack Swagger                  –  Dean Ambrose

–          Cody Rhodes                     –  Damien Sandow           –  Fandango

Vince McMahon approves wholeheartedly.

Single’s Match

Kane   – vs –  Randy Orton

A discouraged Daniel Bryant is happy to join Michael Cole and JBL at the commentators table; discouraged at how his former tag team partner acted earlier tonight and happy thanks to still riding on the high awarded to him thanks to his submission win over “The Viper” on Monday.

A mix up of punches, kicks, and counters start off this bout from both official opponents. A missed aerial attack by Kane gives dominance to the Viper who then focuses on the Big Red Monster’s legs. A down pour of damage seems to be set upon the tree trunk legs appendages that are Kane’s legs lead to terrible two count and eventual return of favour to Kane himself. With the control of the match now in his hands, cruel intentions are struck down onto Orton’s shoulders and neck.

This entire time, and the majority of the match hereafter, we see and hear a see-say of support coming from Daniel Bryant – hearing him over the airwaves and seeing him standing on the commentators table triggering the crowd into rounds of “Yes! Yes! Yes!” or “No! No! No!” depending on where Kane’s momentum was in the match (think of Daniel Bryant acting as a one man pep-squad).

At this point the two men in the match meet and counter one another through a extreme string of attempted finishers which climaxes when Orton is seemingly knocked out of the ring. The knock out does not last long as is witnessed when Kane brings his deceptively downed adversary back into the ring is thanked by receiving a venomous hangman DDT.

With Kane now out of the ring and a decisive ten count already begun, the one man pep squad that was Daniel Bryant decides to take more direct action in favour of his friend. He brings Kane back onto his feet and sweeps the man back into the ring. That is all done in perfect tempo of Kane then receiving a RKO welcome back at the centre of the ring.

Orton’s hand and Kane’s temper is clearly raised, one higher than the other, as Daniel walks backwards up the ramp way mouthing the happy-go-lucky words “I’m sorry” towards the ring.

Official Results: Randy Orton wins by pin fall.

Single’s Match

Justin Gabriel   – vs –  Ryback

Taking nothing away from the quick paced, quicker kicking, high-flying third generation South African WWE talent better known as Justin Gabriel but this match never looked like the right one for him. As it turned out, this match was an atypical jobber-knocker from bell to bell…with Justin as the preverbal jobber and Ryback as the knocker. But as the match itself ends, the entertainment aspect gets kicked up a few notches.

Y2J comes down under the guise of wanting to console Ryback, since Ryback apparently strained his legs during the previously mentioned bout. More important to Jericho than the guise of consoling is remarking as Ryback as lately gone from being a bad man to being a “whiner, a bitcher, a complainer, a moaner, a butcher, a baker, a giant excuse maker.” (a direct quote from The Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla…and worth eveeeeeery digit). And after such a personally rhyme, Jericho offers a renaming of the man formerly known as Skip Sheffield (looking back to his #NXT days). The King of Bling-Bling recommends we all rename him…Cryback (let the hash tagging begin)!

But before all that hash tag fun begins, Jericho charges the ring to give his forthcoming pay-per-view opponent another reason for the name change proposal; Jericho this time being the knocker and Ryback playing the part of the jobber.

Official Results: Ryback wins by pin fall.

Main Event

The Shield (Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins, & Roman Reigns)  – vs –  Christian & The Usos

The real action starts when Dean Ambrose and Jay Uso go at one another, including the predictable outside interference segments by the other two members of The Shield. Jay brings a new vision onto Roman via hitting a “snake eyes” slam into a ring post and then tagging in Captain Charisma. Christian battles on for his side and those who side with him against all three members of The Shield through a tornado DDT and into a hair-raising two count.

From there we get Jimmy Uso taking over Roman Reigns, then Jay Uso taking over Seth Rollins, and leaving Dean Ambrose to receive a sacrificial spear from the Canadian classic himself, Christian. And after all that, what we are left with is The Shield in the ring raging over their second official lose on Smackdown, the other guys rejoicing over their combined victory, and the rest of us backing away and leaving them all to their own desires.

Official Results: Christian & The Usos win by pin fall.

Fiesta Del Rio

The ring has ben redressed into swirl of greens, reds, and whites as the self decreeded display of pride by the WWE Heavyweight Antonio Del Rio is put into action. Ricardo Rodriquez plays down the crowd moments before spinning into his Spanish introduction of his leader and friend. To emphasize just how powerful of a champion he is, Antonio cites that he now only speak to his public in Spanish. So as Antonio puts to life his Spanish tongue he is met with chants of “U-S-A-!” from all four corners of the arena. Soon after Antonio switches off his internal “ESP” circuit in time to play his festive games.

He first spanks the piñata which was placed high over their heads this entire time to pieces and bits; meaning to emphasize how soundly he was defeated at the previous pay-per-view (#Payback) and foreseeing the same thing bound to happen at the next pay-per-view (#MoneyInTheBank). Del Rio persists in his ego driven celebrations by then calling out the real Ziggler, pseudo enticing him to try and disrupt the good ole festive times being had in the ring currently.

Being a gracious guest to his host, Ziggler does make his presence known at the entrance way much to surprise of Del Rio & Rodriquez as well as to the joy and welcome of most of the arena audience. Wanting to be more of a gentleman than was being expected of him, Ziggler takes extra time to snap off his jacket, roll up his sleeves, and then fully charges the ring. By this time, Del Rio has left the ring and nearly the entire building leaving his escort alone in the ring. And so, with only one party goer left Ziggler decided to make use of what is left in the ring by running Rodriquez through the entire trio of dip trays and ending things with a crashing guitar solo across his head.

That leaves Ziggler singing along with the mariachi band at ring side as Rodriquez rests limp in the ring, Del Rio rests comfortable at a now undisclosed location, and we to pull away from all this and so much more for at least one more week.