G’s Official Review of TNA Impact (November 14, 2013)



November 14’s installment of TNA Impact opens up live from Cincinnati Ohio as both components to tonight’s main event, Kurt Angle and Austin Aries, are shown stepping foot into the building from different points at the same time. We are then shown a video package highlighting how Dixie Carter started this whole TNA Heightweight Tournament three weeks ago and how her “Wheel of Dixie” decided what style of match up tonight’s main event was going to be … a submission match.

The first full piece of live action comes to us as all 4 members of Aces & Eights march in unison to the ring, with Bully Ray stopping off at the announcer’s table to man-hug Taz, before entering said ring also in unison. With such an standard entrance by this band of brothers now completed, it is closely followed by Bully Ray starting to speak by way of his standard query to all who will listen, “Do you know who I am?” He presses forward by saying how he and his gang are not about quantity…that they are about quality – which supposedly is what he, Knux, Bischoff, and Brooke are all about. As such, Bully Ray takes this time to officially accept Ken Anderson’s challenge to a no-DQ match for next week.

Having heard his name, Ken Anderson walks out onto the entrance ramp and confidently makes his solo stride to ringside. Ken decides to raise the stakes for next week and offers that when he wins it will cost Aces & Eights to disband FOREVER. Bully Ray does not go for it, so Ken sweetens the pot. Ken adds to the whole pot that if he were the one to loss, then he will be the one to leave wrestling FOREVER. Bully Ray marks that as a crazy proposal from an even crazier man. Little did he know how truthful such a titling was about to become.

Anderson jumps clear over the top rope and takes a few quick shots on Dudley; only to have Knux and Bischoff gang rush him and get Bully Ray into the clear. However, as Bully Ray recoils to the outside and retrieves a steel chair, Anderson does an even crazier thing by turning the tide back in his favour and sends a now bruised Knux and Bischoff to the outside. But Ken’s craziness is not finished there, not tonight.

Now…after all that, Mr. Anderson challenges to have any single member of Aces & Eights to fight him … right now!


Match 1.
Mr. Anderson -vs- Knux

With Bully Ray and Bischoff being sent to the back, this leaves with a truly looking one on one match up. At first, Anderson to his bare knuckles right to all parts of Knux to the brazen point where Knux nearly knock outs Anderson with bear paw sized slap of his hand. Following an equally brazen two count, Knux presses forward to use his abundant size advantage over Anderson via brut force inside and outside of the ring. Following a strong two count, Knux starts to wear down his challenger’s neck and back with the same brut force his first brought with him to his athletic dance. But this teetering dance does not last much longer thanks to Anderson being able to plug into aired out jack and execute a Keith Richard style “Mic Check” for the true pin fall.

Winner: MISTER AN-DER-SON! via pin fall


A pre-recorded taping now hits the airwaves. It shows Joseph Park slumming in an armchair as he verbally recaps exactly how he and Eric Young loss their match last week at the hands of Bad Influence. For the way Christopher Daniels brought home the win for his team last week, Joseph airs out an open challenge for a one on one against Daniels.

Flipping from Memorex to the a live feed, we are quickly brought to seeing both members of Bad Influence, Daniels and Kazarian, standing strong in a nearly hollowed out hallway. Already in disbelief at what they both just saw in time with us seeing it too, the tag team can not help but laugh at what was just said. Along with the chuckles though, Daniels decides not to take all things too lightly and so he accepts Park’s proposal to match fists over wits in the ring sometime later tonight.


We are now shown another lead up segment to tonight’s main event, this time showing segments where both men have their words to say about aspects of tonight’s competition. Kurt Angle and Austin Aries both touching on how unique the art of submission wrestling is when compared to almost all other forms of their shared profession. But that is where similarities in their point of views stops. From there we see and hear from Angle as he touches on his respect former wrestlers who were great at submission combat, mainly Lou Thesz and Ken Shamrock. But rather than bringing focus onto others, Austin brings in further focus on himself and how great of wrestler in even aspect, even submission wrestling, he is than not just everyone else but especially Angle.


Match 2.
Christopher Daniels -vs- Joseph Park

Daniels tries to start things off by showing off his speed but is stopped short by Park’s natural girth, at which point Park starts to lead the match in his favour. So, Christopher attempts to gain the upper hand by way of cheap shots and dirty tricks but that is halted hastily thanks to Joseph’s straight up size superiority. And that leaves Christopher Daniels to combine his last two tries and puts forward quick and cheap moves forward. A two count calls on Daniels to continue with this new game plan, hit Joseph quick and hit him with as many cheap tricks as he can. This does work … until Park shows some of his own quickness and side slams Daniels, which reminds who is truly the bigger man. Alas, right when the referee just happens to have his back turned, Daniels puts forward a swift kick into Parks’ family jewels and finishes it all with a joyful three count.

Winner: Christopher Daniels via pin fall.


Not knowing what Park is thinking right now, we are brought backstage and find out how disappointed Knux is in himself for losing to Anderson earlier tonight. Fortunately for him, he does have the ongoing support from at least Bischoff to brush him off and encourage him to try better next time. And almost as fortunate for him, he also has Bully Ray Dudley with him. Both Bischoff and Bully Ray acknowledge Knux’s loss from tonight, the biggest difference is that Bully Ray also takes this time to emphasise the fact that he will avenge Knux’ downfall for them all next week when Anderson loses to Bully Ray.


Match 3.
Ethan Carter III -vs- Dewey Barnes & Norv Fernum

Quick tags takes Ethan, and the majority of the crowd, by surprise as Barnes and Fernum ride a short high thanks to it. Carter does take back control and turns the schooling back onto both of his handicapped opponents. Another trial of hot tags by Dewey and Norv are proven less productive, non surprisingly to anyone at all, eventually leads to a double fall by them and a potential double pin for EC3.

Winner: Ethan Carter III


Another moment brought to us by the likes of Memorex, allows us to see and hear from Jeff Hardy recap how great last week was for him. He recalls how good it is still have people cheer and jeer for ladder matches these last sixteen years. And lastly, but not leastly, no matter who is next…Jeff Hardy will totally be ready for whoever he has to face in the next round.


Back at the ring, we are now are to witness Dixie Carter as she approaches and then enters “her TNA” ring as waves upon waves of `boos!” and hisses and hissing `boos!’ come crashing down towards her from the crowd. Once she is standing tall and proud in “her TNA” ring, Dixie once again puts forward proof of how smart she is evidenced by her being able to kick AJ Styles out of “her TNA” soon after he won the TNA Heavyweight Championship. Which, also according to Dixie, brought about her latest installment of shire brilliance which is nowadays being called the “Tournament of Champions” with the inevitable goal of finding Dixie Carter “her TNA World Champion”.

Taking this opportunity to the next stage, Dixie decides to invite four of “her TNA” wrestlers to join her in the ring so that she can let everyone else know what regulations next week’s bracketed matches will be contested under. With Bobby Roode versus James Storm, they will see how well they got to know each other under the former team name of ‘Beer Money’ by testing each other in a `Bull Rope Match’. And, following a verbally signed proclamation of resentment directly towards Dixie by Samoa Joe, we are told that Magnus and he will have an equally tough time with one another thanks to their match being one where `Falls Count Anywhere’. With none of those four men having any outright troubles put forward regarding who they have to go through next nor by what means they are going to have to go through said opponents, we get to leave Dixie and `her TNA’ talent in the ring to disperse at their own time and find our way off to a different part of the arena.


That different part of the arena is a dark and secluded section of no fixed origin other than it being somewhere else in the arena. Once there we are unassuming witnesses to Mr. Anderson’s blindside attack onto Bischoff, an attack that almost knocks out Garett. With a now dwindled gang member before him, Anderson is slick in slapping on handcuffs which now leaves Bischoff locked at this unfixed location of the arena. And with his one man audience now securely captivated, Anderson sits himself down and starts speaking parts of his own mind to said captive.


Match 4.

Gail Kim -vs- Hanna Blossom

Following her open challenge from last week, Gail Kim opens the first week from said challenge against someone most of us saw back a few weeks or months ago during TNA’s Gutcheck tryouts. Since her time away from the TNA ring, Hanna Blossom still showed she had some things to learn to stay away from. Some of those things in this match in particular were a few legal moves and quite a few more non legal moves executed by the current TNA Knockouts Champion. And even though Ms. Blossom did show shine once or twice during their tussle, it was always Kim who was in ultimate control and capped it all off with her patented “Eat Defeat” finishing manoeuvre.

Winner: Gail Kim via pin fall.


Not leaving the ring empty for too long, we are brought back from commercial to find a wildly battered and thoroughly dismayed Joseph Park standing, once again, alone in the ring. After surviving, most would say suffering but Joseph chose to use the term surviving, another loss at the hands of Bad Influence, Joseph has made a new decision. He has decided to take what has been his primary goal since ever coming to TNA, that of finding the whereabouts of his legendary brother Abyss, and combine with that of the most consistent criticism that has been thrown at him since the same day, mainly that Joseph himself will never be as good as Abyss. And he plans on completely this by challenging his brother, Abyss, to match for next week.

Why would anyone do this?

How can this be done?

Well…tune in to this article next week, and I will be sure tell you!


Match 5.
Austin Aries -vs- Kurt Angle

These two masters of the squared circle start things off by forging each other through championship class of chain wrestling
interlinked with equally noble clean breaks and steadfast standoffs. One thing does lead to another, and in this case the
series of testing one another’s strengths allows Austin to gain focus onto Angle’s stiff knees and neck. Even when Bobby Roode trots out onto the entrance way and sets himself to have seat there to watch the match and nothing else, the distraction is makes for Angle only strengthens Aries focus on his opponent’s legs and upper back.

Angle is able to successfully put Aries through his hat trick of belly to back suplexes just as Austin is capable of executing his dropkicking neck breaker onto Kurt, and still neither man taps. The end is nearly seen thanks to Austin Aries locking in the “Last Chancery” onto Kurt Angle, the referee’s hand turns whiskers shy of calling for the final bell before a clutch of the bottom ropes stops that from going any further. But with Roode still perches at the entrance way and Angle still keeping one Olympic eye on him, Angle seems inspired as to how to end this event and thusly, seemingly more full of spite than spirit, locks on a mockery style of Roode’s signature cross face onto Aries and is quickly granted a pass to the next round in this tournament.

Winner: Kurt Angle via submission

A freakishly livid Roode is brushed off the stage just in time for a cool and charismatically in control Anderson to bring himself out onto the same stage with a more than simply battered and bruised Bischoff in tow. From there, Ken makes for a clean finish to the show overall as he delivers Bischoff seemingly into the entrance platform via a cool, calculated, and crisp pile driver. And as Anderson is forcibly relieving  Bischoff of his gang-coloured vest whilst an equally victorious Angle looks on with us from the ring, the TNA cameras all seem to pull away from this and every other scene of total non-stop action for this week.