G’s Official Review of TNA Impact (November 7, 2013)



Cincinnati Gardens in Cincinnati Ohio opens up by showing Dixie Carter making her way into the arena praising her own doings as of late when Mr. Anderson halts her with a humble and honest air about him. Dixie voices her expectations that  Anderson will be asking for far more than he deserves and that she does not have time for it. Showing a lighter side to his persona, Anderson proves her wrong when he asks for just one simple thing; all he wants from her is a match against Bully Ray Dudley.

Being given such a simple wish list, Dixie grants such to take place but not before putting forth her own simple request. She demands Anderson to do one thing, just one thing…to bring his best fight to the ring when he does get his shot at Bully Ray Dudley.

And with that, Dixie returns to her previously set path into the arena and leaves Kennedy to his devices.

The show itself opens to show all four members of the Main Event Mafia making their collective way into the ring. Once  there, Stings starts things off by recapping how he was the one who started MEM back in June with only 2 core goals; to remove Bully Ray from the TNA Heavyweight Championship and to bring the rest of Aces & Eights down. And as of tonight, Sting claims that has been accomplished and he puts out even though all four members have made great things happen together, that each member needs to deal with their own ordeals and challenges and as such…MEM is being suspended until  further notice.

Sting will be the first to talk again with a now self-suspended group of brothers still standing strong in the ring. He  states how he is sure that the other men in the ring with him at the moment are sure to embark on their own individual pathways to the same eventual climax – each man will be Heavyweight Champion. But as each of them focus on that goal, Sting has something else to set his own focus on. Sting will be the one who deals with entitlement; more specifically he will deal with all those on the rooster who believe that they are entitled to everything despite doing nothing to get it. And with nothing more said, Sting hugs each of the other men in the ring and then leaves the three alone.

Samoa Joe is the next to speak. Joe acknowledges that he has enjoyed his journey with MEM but there is something that he needs to remind each of them and all of us about now that MEM is suspended. That even with them being good friends…they are sure to be even better enemies! And with nothing more said by him, he hands over the microphone and leaves the last two men alone.

Magnus speaks now. Magnus acknowledges Kurt is the very best in the business. But with the new pages in business about to  be turned in his own favour, Magnus still finds himself destined to surpass both Samoa Joe and Angle on his way to getting  his first TNA Heavyweight Championship reign real soon. And with that Magnus leaves one in the ring alone.

Angle voices his belief that he has been honoured for every part he was able to play as a member of MEM but he does have  better plans in mind.

Alas, there is nothing more heard from Angle on that subject thanks to Bobby Roode marching straight to the ring to  immediately rain onto whatever parade Kurt may have continued with. Roode states how he feels embarrassed by Angle’s weekly  excuses. Roode pushes Kurt to a shared fact that, with the tournament both of them will soon be stepping foot into, Bobby will proudly beat Kurt for a third straight time. That is what gets Kurt to speak again.

Angle predicts that after he finishes his business against Austin Aries next week, that he does expect to meet Roode in the  finals. But than again, Kurt may not want to wait that long…and that is when Angle bull rushes Roode to the mat. TNA officials try their best separate the two men but with very little and very intermittent results. Roode and Angle trade efforts and control of the intertwined ambush several times over before members of MEM and Ego run to the ring to join the officials with their efforts.

Backstage cameras find Knux and Bischoff striding through the halls questioning what is going through the mind of former Aces & Eights’ member, Mr. Anderson, in demanding match against Bully ray Dudley. What better time for the man in question, Mr. Anderson, to confront these two gang members. Well, this is the perfect time, and turns out to be the time, where Mr. Anderson confronts them in person.

Anderson does not want and does not spark a fight with these two men at this time. All he wants to do is to get some truth over to them. He testifies to them that when he was striped of the Aces & Eights’ colours, that was the best thing that ever happened to him. And with that, he slips the thought into their mind as to how much they would benefit if the same thing to them…and then Anderson leaves it all alone.

Number 1 Contender’s match for the TNA Knockouts Championship

Velvet Sky -vs- Brooke -vs- ODB

ODB starts things off with a BAM! thanks to her boob bombing both of her competitors to the mat and pushing through with a 2 count over Velvet Sky. Brooke uses Velvet Sky as a ram of sorts into the feministic mass better known as ODB mere moments before Velvet reverts back to life and slides into a 2 count. That two count gives way to opportunity for Brooke to lay out the other two combatants with an aerial assault which, unfortunately for Brooke, causes pain for all three of them. And with all three now wincing in pain through out the ring, that gives way to opportunity for Gail Kim and Lady Tapa to make their joined way to ringside.

The three official contenders in this match up soon find themselves in their own Mexican stand off as all 3 make their way back onto the feet and staring into one another eyes. Somewhere a silent bang goes off only to be muffled and outdone by the thunderous chops and pops the ladies start to dole out onto one another whilst in this three way stand off. A shared upper hand is won when ODB and Velvet Sky team up on Brooke but is short lived before ODB stands alone as she does away with Velvet.

This is when opportunity shows favour to the ladies outside of the ring as Gail Kim and Lady Tapa edge their way closer to the ringside. The next few moments inside the ring show Velvet Sky gain a two count over ODB followed by the same close count over Brooke. Brooke takes those near falls to the next level by performing a flying cross body on the other two. And this is when Gail and Tapa follow through with opportunity to its fullest extent as they step straight into the ring and force a disqualification to be called on.

Not caring the official call of the match, Gail Kim presses on to beat on Velvet Sky and Brooke while Lady Tapa focuses all her fight and malice onto ODB. And with the original competitors down and out, Gail airs out her dominance over all ladies in the TNA Knockouts’ division and as such she follows that with an open challenge to any female wrestler outside TNA to fight her…to bring her an actual challenge.

It is backstage we go again and it to find Knux and Bischoff talking out loud again. This time the scene starts with both men questioning if Anderson has any truth with what he said about Aces & Eights to be no more, and that being for the betterment of all those involved. Before much verbal thought is awarded to this matter, the two men are joined by their self-appointed leader, Bully Ray Dudley.

Bully Ray starts things off by interjecting once again how he was the one who started Aces & Eights in the first place, he was the one who brought together Aces & Eights to make each and every member of the club that much better, and that for as long as he is the president of the club that Aces & Eights will continue to gain bigger and better riches through the TNA landscape.

The conjoint retort from both Bischoff and Knux is that for the longest time the only member of Aces & Eights who’s word seems to hold any weight and or merit has been Bully Ray’s, that for the longest time all actions and omissions performed by Aces & Eights have been done in order for the betterment of only Bully Ray, and how for the longest time there has not been any new riches or bigger gains obtained by anyone; not even Bully Ray.

Further more, with Knux showing to be a stronger disbeliever than Bischoff, it is Knux who raises his voices and the potential stakes of Aces & Eights’ future as a club as he does not ask for a club vote but demands that they all take a vote as to whether or not they should disband altogether…and that that vote will take place in the ring, not behind closed doors as Bully Ray tends to prefer it to be. That is when Knux leads Bischoff towards the ring, leaving a blindsided and bewildered Bully Ray to be by himself for the time being.

But before we see what unfolds with that call to order, we are brought to the offices of TNA President, Dixie Carter. She is seen screeching into her cell phone to an unknown recipient blathering on almost hysterically about how someone, potentially AJ Styles, is still mocking her and making her out to look ridiculous. Not too much more is shared from this conversation thanks to Dixie’s favourite nephew knocking on her door.

Ethan Carter the 3rd has come to his Aunt’s office with doubts of whether or not he will be able to continue with his current winning streak with regards to his challenger later tonight. Dixie quickly slays those doubts by raising the awareness of who Ethan is…he is a Carter, and the world is better place when- Carters are around and especially when they are winning..

Apparently that is enough for EC3 to leave her office refreshed, revived, and ready to take his winning streak to the next stage.

Now is the time that the camera brings us all back to the ring, which is perfect timing to find Knux and Bischoff in said ring with Bischoff ready to speak their mind. Before much else is said though, Taz is invited to leave his post at the announcer’s table and join them in the ring, which he does, and the Bully Ray is asked to come out from the back and join them in the ring, which he also does. So Bischoff starts things off by referring to Bully Ray as the poison within Aces & Eights which has been killing it from the inside. With Knux by his side, Bischoff finishes by stating, for all the public to hear, whether Bully Ray likes it or not…this vote is going to happen!

But before the vote itself starts, Mr. Anderson strolls out to ring side, promising not to get physically involved, and takes a post outside of the ring to watch the whole thing unfold. And with that, the vote is ushered to start.

Bischoff is loud and seemingly proud to vote himself out of the group. With that, Bischoff takes off his jacket and exits the ring.

Bully Ray responds with the microphone by saying how they never really needed him, that him and the rest of his gang are still strong.

Knux is next to speak, and is next to vote himself out of the gang. With that, he too takes off his own jacket and leaves
the ring.

Bully Ray retorts by saying how all he really needs to be successful is his best friend, Taz, to be with him. All he needs to know is that having someone who does exactly what he is told like a good little solider boy is more than enough. That is when Taz fires back by being the third consecutive self-departed member as he too votes out and removes his Aces & Eights colours.

Bully Ray tries to verbally force Taz to put his jacket back on twice, with no relief, before turning his attention back to Anderson. Dudley claims that all this un-brotherly-love is due to Anderson and for that there will be hell to pay. Anderson smirkingly replies by reminding Bully and everyone else around that thanks to Dixie Carter granting him his shot at Bully Ray on November 21, and with it now being a no disqualification match up, hell will be bestowed Bully Ray all thanks to…MISTER…ANDERS…

The self hype is cut off thanks to Knux and Bischoff attacking him from behind and then rolling him into the ring for Bully Ray to get a few of his cheap shots in as well. After laying a few hay-makers onto his future opponent, Bully Ray reminds us all, especially a now bewildered Anderson, of his own countless words…”When you ride with Aces & Eights, you never ride alone!” and leaves Anderson at dead center of the ring as he and his gang leave the scene triumphant.


Before the next match is set up we are forced to watch as an enraged Bobby Roode storms the announcers’ table demanding to have Kurt Angle come to the ring so that he fight him. Roode rambles on and thunders from the mouth, demanding to have Kurt brought to him so that he can end this all tonight.

Well, for all the wind-talking and foot stomping that Roode does do it was all for not as instead of his demands being  answered, the show proceeds with the following match up.

Ethan Carter III -vs- Dewey Barnes

As soon as the bell sound, EC3 is the one who leads Dewey from corner to corner to corner to corner while stabbing out with high class chops, and professional cut, and above amateur kicks, and a few other EC3 approved tactics showing how good he really-really is against a contender the caliber of Dewey. However, thanks to a few missed marks by Mr. Carter, Dewey was able to slip in a few punches and kicks of his – most of which did actually hit their intended target. And if it was not for a mis-marked top rope drop kick, Ethan may not have been able to execute his “one percenter” finisher and cover for the three…or at least not as early as did this time around.

Winner: Ethan Carter III via pin fall.

As Dewey is swept out of the ring by officials and such, Ethan takes the microphone and, with as much high class distain and arrogance as he can mustard, reminds us all that “Everyone needs the Carters!”


Behind the curtains we go again.

And this time we find Joseph Park boyishly rooting through the last of his Halloween candy only to be dismayed thanks to both members of Bad Influence, Christopher Daniels and Kazarian, charging onto the scene and beginning to verbally taunt and berate Park. Just as things start to look dismal for Joseph is the exact same time that everyone’s favourite self- proclaimed scientist, Eric Young, steps in. Young proposes a thesis followed by an experiment.

With the science and record books both showing that the last two times Bad Influence met up with Park & Young in the ring that it was Park & Young who came out victorious. Therefore, let there be a third match up of the same sort tonight to prove or disprove the truth to said recordings.

Bad Influence accepts their part in this tentative experiment and exit the scene.
Eric Young & Joseph Park -vs- Bad Influence

The crowd chants on Eric Young as Young takes the science and the fight straight to both Daniels and Kazarian. Young tags in Park who does his part in this modern day laboratory by slamming Kazarian straight into the mat three times before turning things back to Young. Young, being the thorough man of ring-science that he is, takes his test subject to the outside and then quickly joins him via a suicide dive which arrives right onto, almost through, Kazarian.

A nearby two count for Young, which is thwarted by the outside hand of Daniels, is quickly followed by a legal tag to Daniels. Not letting them be the only ones who know how to get their untagged hands involved, Joseph Park marches his way to the polar end of the ring, barking remarks to both members of Bad Influence. Those barks seem to have only residual effect as Kazarian is tagged back in after a few quick jabs onto Young by Daniels and the same being done by Young and Park – eventually leaving Park and Kazarian to be the legal components in the ring.

With the referee trying to keep Young away from his opponents’ corner on the outside of the ring, the same time is utilized by Daniels as he throws a liquid formula originally labelled an “apple martini” which was at ring side for Bad Influence into Park’s eyes. This unregistered catalyst permits for a quick roll up by Kazarian of Park and a thesis-breaking win for Bad Influence.

Winner: Bad Influence by pin fall.

Kurt Angle takes his turn, now draped in his ring attire, to storm down to the ring to call out Bobby Roode. Instead of getting what he wants though, Angle gets who is truly next in line for him as Austin Aries makes his own way, dawned in his street clothes. Aries tries to get Angle to refocus his attention on Austin himself and away from Roode…to focus on who he definitely has to wrestle next week and away from someone he might have to wrestle after that. That is truly harder said than done since it is this moment in time that Roode decides to storm the scene and straight out attack Angle as Aries starts to back away.

Just as Roode seems to be getting the better of Kurt is when Aries decides to step in and peel the two men apart, only to focus his fists of fury on Roode and leave Angle alone. Not taking any of that into account though Angle revokes the favour by prying Austin away and fighting with him before laying out Olympic sized bombs and crashes onto Roode. Before any more confusion or possible contusions can be put forward by any of these men, TNA officials ride onto the scene and eventually get each men to vanish under their own individual power and realigned will.

Main Event

Jeff Hardy -vs- Chris Sabin

**Contested under “Full Metal Mayhem” rules**

Sabin shows the want to start things in a civil manner as he extends an open palm to his competitor. After little thought, Hardy answers with much force by way of kicking the hand away, only to be stomped into the nearest corner by Sabin for his troubles. Back and forth it goes for wild minute between both brazen high flyers before Hardy brings a ladder into the ring and Sabin uses the same ladder to batter Hardy into another stiff corner of the ring. Sabin’s follow up to that is a gnarly neck-breaker onto the ladder with a sharp two count by the referee to boot.

Hardy turns the tide by trash-can-crashing waves of pain and ill will onto Sabin before bringing a table into the ring and setting it up a corner. The time it took Hardy to set all that up was coincidently enough time for Sabin to regain the upper hand by forcing his opponent to nut himself into the top turnbuckle and slip into a mangled tree of woe set up in the same corner. And with half of Hardy’s limbs intertwined with the ring and the other half flaying around totally unsure how to get this mess undone, Sabin proceeds to baseball slide into Hardy; steel chair first.

After Jeff is back in the lead, he sets Sabin on a table which had been stationed at center ring. With the table now set, Hardy makes his way to the top rope and craves the need to fly and sets out to do just that. The landing is spoiled due to Sabin moving from his place allowing Hardy to crash through the table on his own. Not wanting to be outdone, however, Sabin follows all that with some dreams to fly too and repeats similiar staging which brings Hardy on a table and Sabin about fly. With similiar staging though does come similiar solution…Hardy gets his knees up just as Hardy lands into those knees just before the table itself.

Nothing much else is worthy of much note after all that until one witnesses Hardy executing “Twist of Fate” followed by a sensational “Swanton Bomb” from the top of a ladder…all of which led to a undeniable three count. And so, as Jeff Hardy is having his hand raised in victory and TNA medics along with Velvet Sky tend to Chris Sabin, the camera pulls away from it all and we exit all the scenes that is total non-stop wrestling for another seven days.