G’s Official Recap of TNA Impact (1-23-2014)

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Part two of TNA: Genesis starts with Dixie Carter, Rockstar Spud, and an un-named lawyer fretting over something secretive before anyone else is around to ask any questions. The only person to join them is their one and only TNA Heavyweight Champion, Magnus, as he saunters down the hall to where the rest of them are. Once there, he and the viewing audience is made aware of what has them all up in fists and twists of uncertainty by way of the lawyer, who remains un-named, proclaims that a mystery investor has been stockpiling and politicking towards a hostile takeover of TNA – a takeover which has Dixie the most upset and distort over. And as if that is not enough bad news, it is revealed that tonight’s main event will have Sting with a man in his corner when he faces Magnus for the TNA Heavyweight Championship.

Now with Magnus included in the unsettling feeling of uncertainty originally shared only between the other three, Magnus quickly responds to what he and we just heard by counter offering a stipulation of his own. He incites that the main event now become a no-disqualification, no-count out contest between he and the Icon. With personal approval by both Dixie and the lawyer already running wild, Magnus wastes no more time where he is now and pushes onto the ring itself.

Magnus makes his way into the ring with Rockstar Spud and Ethan Carter 3rd by his side and a live microphone in hand. From there, he shows how little he cares for what he just learned in the back by immediately smack-talking his upcoming opponent. Unfortunately for the three in the ring, that opponent is not the kind of man who quietly sits in the back and lets this smack talk to go on for long as Sting soon joins them in the ring. Once there, Sting shares with us all that he is also clueless when it comes to the mystery investor but nowhere near clueless when it comes to what separates himself from the current TNA Heavyweight Champion.

Sting is a true wrestler, has been a true champion, and continues to be a true combatant.

Whereas Magnus is a chance wrestler, a bottom feeding aspect of life, and a paper-champion.

Proof that the Icon knows how to truly smack talk the other man, Sting receives a stern slap to his face from Magnus due to what was just said. Instead of showing harm or foul by that slap, Magnus and those around him are put back a couple of notches by way of true punches onto Magnus, kicks into Rockstar, and a bit of both onto Ethan Carter. The number game quickly turns things away from Sting’s advantage as those who were hit take it upon themselves to now gang-tackle Sting…but things are even out just as quickly when the ring is cleared out thanks to the man Sting has chosen to be in his corner later tonight…Samoa Joe.

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Match 1.

Gunner       -vs-      James Storm
((Number One Contendership; briefcase on a pole match))

Being former tag team members allows these two men to know the other’s strong as well as weak points; it permits both sides to know which maneuvers would typically lead to. But when one puts the contendership to the TNA Heavyweight championship into the mix, there is sure to be a few new and unexpected scenes to be acted upon.

The new and unexpected comes in the form of Storm successfully and stylishly executing a top rope head scissors onto his former in-ring partner. Unfortunately, there was not much more to write about in this match (which is not to say that these two did not perform professionally nor with some degree of entertaining the viewing public) thanks in part to a re-write of what happened when this same briefcase was put into contention involving these two … Storm is the one who gets the case off of its perch on the pole but Gunner is the who (once again steps over Storm) on his way of taking full possession of said case.

Winner: Gunner (retains Number 1 Contendership to TNA Heavyweight Championship)

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Match 2.

TNA X-Division Championship

Austin Aries      -vs-       Chris Sabin
(Velvet Sky locked in a cage at ringside)

(As your colour analyst, I feel it justified for me to bring to light that a woman who is portrayed as being one well versed in the art and flare of modern day fashion, it was slightly disheartening to see Velvet Sky dress herself in a form fitting hot-red dress but decide to accessorize it with a polar-blue gift bag…just a thing that struck me as odd – back to the match for now.)

Most of this match had a rivalry between a current and a former X-Division champion seeming to be rekindled by way of Aries floating over nearly all of Sabin’s tactics resulting in a series of two-counts and quicken submission attempts. The other half of this rekindling showed sparks when Sabin showcased his x-ability to punch, kick, and double barrel his way towards his own fair share of near falls and close tap-outs. Realising that he and his current combatant are too equally skilled for his own safety, Sabin saunters his way to the cage housing Velvet Sky before tearing the bag out of her hands (and you thought I was only going to mention the bag, or its owner, just for that one time).

Soon after, he rips the bag apart only to find that which he was really looking for (an inanimate steel rod which he had delivered to Velvet Sky prior to the match) was innocently replaced with a medium sized stuffed bear (an item which Sabin’s pre-match delivery also included). As shock and dismay scatter over Sabin’s face and mind, Aries takes this time to stuff Sabin away via a double-A patented brainbuster for the win and his newest turn as a TNA Champion.

Winner: Austin Aries ((and new TNA X-Division Champion))

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Match 3

Bobby Roode            -vs-               Kurt Angle
(Steel Cage Match)

((if Roode wins, Angle can never be inducted into TNA Hall of Fame))

This clash has had four months to get to tonight’s boiling point (well, actually, it was suppose to originally take place last week but certain exceptions were made by current TNA president, Dixie Carter. But we don’t need to dwell on that any longer than we just did.) in which the IT factor show his very best against professional wrestling’s solo Olympic hero. A clash which in it early stages shows Roode focusing all he can muster to come crashing down on Angle’s neck and head – parts of the Olympian’s anatomy which has been greatly chronicled as suffering countless injuries in the past. Being the true (red, white, and blue) hero that he is, Kurt pushes through all those attacks and comes out on the other side by way of triple-suplexing Roode much to the home crowd’s 10 out of 10 approval.

Before giving Angle much more to work with, Roode takes the next few minutes to not only side step all of Angle’s attacks but also to regain his own attack onto the neck and head of his opponent. All the yeahs (which coincided with when Kurt was able to kick out of Roode’s pin attempts) and boos (which coincided with how often Roode eluded an Angle victory) that were to follow next came to a climax when Roode found himself sprawled out on the mat with no clue how he got there and Angle at the top of the cage with nothing standing in his way of exiting the cage as victor. It is here when Kurt once again takes the path less traveled as he props himself high atop of the cage and moon saults himself back into the ring.Alas, Roode was offered the opportunity to roll away before the moon sault landed leaving Kurt to crash solely on the rough and tough matter that is the TNA ring mat.

If that was not clear and costly enough for this match to conclude on, these two men were able to give us more. More attempts by Roode to leave the ring whenever he could only to be dragged back into the ring. More silver and gold medal worthy chain wrestling tactics and counter measures, only to be dropped down below bronze each time. That all led to both men being feverishly perched atop the third rope fighting back and forth until a well placed gut shot sends Roode to crotch-shot himself into that top rope and once again gives Angle an unobstructed path to victory.

Angle starts to climb the cage.

Roode starts to stir and wiggle his way to the cage door.

Angle makes it over the top of the cage.

Roode pushes the cage door open and starts to drag himself out to the other side.

And…in the end…Olympic effort turns out to be the victor over every factor.

Winner: Kurt Angle
(Kurt Angle is still eligible to, someday, be inducted into TNA’s Hall of Fame)

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The next segment keeps us in the ring, but not for a match. What has us staying in the ring is a Dixie Carter afforded segment which brings us all three members of `The Bro-Mans’. If that were not bad enough, each man takes this time on screen to blow up the airwaves and nearly overload our eardrums with endless and countless hash-tags centered on glorifying their self-imposed greatness and robbing any value or stock any other tag team may think they have against them.

One man who is brave enough (and we as a whole are thankful enough towards for more than just causing the bros to stop talking) is Eric Young as he takes it upon himself to perform a one man rush to the ring. An ambush which is short lived due to the numbers game as Robbie, Jessie, and Zema make it a game as they take turns beating on Eric before joining in on the assault together. But as team Bro-Mans’ luck would have it, their joint fortune soon ran out when Abyss decided to march his way into the ring and take on all who were already there.

A choke-slam for Robbie E.

A blackhole-slam for Jessie.

Shock Treatment for DJ Zema.

Abyss then turns his focus on Eric Young…and locks in a fresh choke slam. Thankfully though (after some hefty pleas and nay-saying from the crowd) Abyss rethinks whatever original thought had him sink his clutches around Young’s neck and sets the man free before exiting the ring and marching into the dark reaches of the backstage area.

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Match 5
Main Event

Sting                 -vs-                 Magnus
(TNA World Heavyweight Championship match)
((No disqualifications, no count-outs))
(((If Magnus wins, Sting must leave TNA)))

A clean and crisp start to this match allows for a showcase by both men as they battle their way through equally pitted parts of chain wrestling and reversals from one another seemingly strongest holds and pin attempts. Just as one man tries to get the better of the other, which leads to a double clothesline and finishes with both men lying out on the mat, we are dismayed (but not the least bit surprised) when Dixie Carter pops out from the back and invites others to attack the ring for the well being of her company and the well being of her champion.

Ethan Carter is first to march down to the ring, but is discounted when met dead on by Samoa Joe.

This is when Sting is able to lock in a sure-fire edition of the scorpion death lock, and it also when Ethan returns to the ring – this time with both members of Bad Influence with him. After a few stern shots hit their mark on Sting, Samoa Joe is able to ward off Ethan Carter, Kazarian and Christopher Daniels, leaving Sting again to be left alone with Magnus. Alone time which is quickly ruined after the Bro-Mans knock out Joe by use of the ring steps.

As the five on one assault appears to be too much for the Icon is the exact time when Kurt Angle decides to make his presence known as he rushes the ring and performs another perfect 10 clearing of the ring…once again leaving the original combatants to be alone in the ring (both battered, bruised, bewildered, and nearly beaten).

Showing that she is not afraid to get more directly involved in her company, Dixie Carter takes this time to bring herself to the ring, dragging a reluctant TNA referee by the name of Earl Hebner with her. Once at ringside, she dramatically tosses the referee into the ring as Magnus rolls Sting into a pin attempt and barks at him to make the final count. Showing as much reluctance as he can, trying to afford Sting as much breathing time as is possible, Earl does…eventually…make the

1…

2……..

…………3!

Winner: Magnus (still TNA World Heavyweight Champion)

Not allowing anyone inside or outside of the ring any chance at forgetting what else, other than the title, was on the line during this match, Magnus and Dixie Carter stand proudly and triumphant over Sting. Magnus takes this time to take Sting’s TNA contract from Dixie and tear it into as many pieces as he possible can while the camera pulls us away for another week.