G’s Official Recap of TNA Impact (2-13-2014)


The United Kingdom’s very own, Magnus, alongside with the southern-belle from Georgia, Dixie Carter, start tonight’s show off by verbally turning their collective noses up at those in attendance and those watching from home all over the world. Both Dixie and Magnus, as well as Ethan Carter 3rd, take their time to let their self proclaimed greatness and glory wave over everyone with nearly every line they speak during the majority of this opening segment. Fortunately, more important issues are brought to the surface thanks to MVP and Samoa Joe stepping out onto the entrance way in unison.

The new investor of TNA and the current number one contender to TNA’s Heavyweight Championship stand tall and proud as they take in all the cheers and roars from the crowd worldwide. But before either of them make many words heard, a third man steps out and joins them. Gunner graciously interjects by focusing his sole sights on Magnus, who is still in the ring. Gunner reminds us that he still holds the briefcase entitling him to shot at the TNA Heavyweight Champion at whatever time he chooses. And with that, Gunner gives Magnus a seven day notice that he will be using said shot at said title.

Dixie steps in and informs one and all that she had placed Gunner in a match against her favourite nephew, Ethan Carter 3rd, with the briefcase currently Gunner’s possession up for contention – much to the dislike of the surrounding crowd. And lastly, MVP steps in soon there after and adds that Ethan Carter’s briefcase for an open shot at the TNA Tag Team Championship also be put up as stakes within the match…a match he has now made into….a ladder match.


Match #1.
Ladder Match
((Winner gets Contendership shot at TNA HeavyWeight Championship and TNA Tag Team Championship))

Gunner             -vs-            Ethan Carter 3rd

As Ethan Carter tries to establish his superiority in the ring with his bare fists and kicks, it is Gunner is sure to establish dominance early on thanks mainly to being able to muscle over his opponent; both bare handed and while using the ladder itself as weapon. Just Gunner seems to have Ethan rolled away and makes his way up the ladder is the same time when Magnus shows up and levels things by any means immediately available to him.

Not being a fan of what just transpired in the ring, James Storm charges in and clears the ring with thunderous style and lightening like strokes. With a former tag team standing safe in the ring and a make shift tag team clamoring outside the ring, MVP marches out and makes another adjustment to this match…it is now a tag team, winner takes all, ladder match.

Showing how well of a team they once were, Gunner and Storm jointly use every part of the ring as well as the ladder itself onto the other two men in this newly reformed match up. In similiar style, those other two men do gain control of things thanks to taking cheap shots onto their opponents and then taking flying fists and barrage of boots trying to keep them down long enough to scale the ladder. However, each time Ethan tried to step up the ladder, Magnus pulled him back to the ground and vice versa.

The inability to agree on who was going to take the next step between Magnus and Ethan allows for Storm to blindside those two and ring control back to his side of things. And with Storm tending to the opponents in this match, Gunner takes this opportunity to retrieve the cases that were hanging freely above the ring.

Winner: Gunner and James Storm

Match #2
The Bro-Mans with Zema Ion               -vs-                   The Wolves with Samoa Joe

Shortly after the results of the opening match up, we saw Zema Ion, Robbie E., and Jessie Godderz rage into the executives offices of TNA and confront Rockstar Spud about said turn out. The outcry at that point triggered MVP to but those three men in a tag match against a team of three of his own choosing…which brought us to seeing the TNA debut match of Eddie Edwards and Davey Richards alongside the current number one contender for the TNA Heavyweight Championship.

During the match, we see glimpses of what brought MVP to sign Eddie and Davey first during his takeover of TNA as both use their collective fists, feet, and the heads (both figuratively and literally) against the TNA Tag Team Champions and their sidekick DJ. And despite a temporary turn of events which allowed for a shimmer of hope to shine down onto the Bros’ side of thing, it was the star filled, submission tactics of Samoa Joe onto Zema which brought this match to its own conclusions.

Winner: Samoa Joe & The Wolves via submission.

As a week long delay from last week’s Monster’s Ball match which ended with Eric Young unmasking Abyss to show he was Joseph Park, we now are to hear from the unmasked man himself. He speaks to us from inside the ring with a hooded sweater keeping his face out of sight from everyone to begin with. To begin with, he asks…nay…he demands Eric Young to join him in the ring, a demand which is fulfilled after a few short shot of name calling are cast over the ring ropes. And when they are standing face to face for the first time for a week, this is when the hood of the sweater is pulled away by the man wearing it.

With his face free of a mask, a deep voiced Joseph Park begins to recount all the acts of torture onto himself and onto others he has laid out in past as Abyss. Park reminds us of the terrible harm and hatred he had forced onto others in history as Abyss. He brings back into light all the blood, sweat, and tears he has shed and made others shed during his enactment of being Abyss. And finally, he vows that for all those reasons and more, he can’t be Abyss ever again.

Eric Young offers to help his friend, Joseph, fight this internal battle and find ways to help him win this war with himself. However, Young’s offerings get thrown away as Joseph marks Young as no longer being his friend and that he needs to find someone who not understands him but will truly help him become who he really needs to be. Joseph vows that he is the only one who can honestly help himself…and that he do just that…alone.

Match #3.
MVP             -vs-           Rockstar Spud

Earlier this evening, while pointing out that MVP was, technically, no longer a wrestler but that he himself, Spud, was still “quite the artful dodger” (notice the quote marks, that was a direct line from the lips of Rockstar Spud to your eyes and inner ears) one quick thing led to another which had MVP challenging Spud to a wrestling contest tonight…a challenge that was never contested by Dixie and therefore was granted to take place.

Apparently, being an `artful dodger’ was being turned into real life by way of Spud draining every second the referee’s ten count before almost making it into the ring just in time for MVP to step one or two strides forward and make Spud retreat to the guardrail edges. Not allowing this sort of shameful tactic to repeat itself more than twice, MVP shows his flare of being a forward passer by leaving the ring and chasing Spud into the ring, a tactic which Spud tries to use to his advantage.

As Spud waited eagerly for MVP to make part way back into the ring is the precise time Spud starts to slap his challenger and lasso a loose fitting head lock onto the man in the process. Less than a half dozen more gingerly punches and kicks later, a recharged MVP is rapid in regaining complete dominance in contest, performs a 5 star “Ballin'” elbow drop followed up with a high class boot to the mush of a now mashed up Spud for the win.

Winner: MVP via pin fall.

Match #4.
Velvet Sky                  -vs-                Chris Sabin

Ever since Austin Aries fairly won the TNA X-Division championship from him, Sabin has made his goal make Velvet Sky, his once loving girlfriend outside of the ring and unintentionally aide inside the ring, a miserable and lonely husk of woman she once was. Which, as of last week, brought both to tonight’s inter-gender match up with the intent of showing which one was truly the talented member of their once cherished duo and which was just….there.

Having more of her fill of Sabin’s actions and words as of late, Velvet Sky eventually drew up enough drive and determination to bring her former lover down to the ground by way of a stern kick to the knees and two wickedly wild arm shots to Sabin’s tender-regions. But as she began to shower him with kicks in clusters and punches and bunches was the same time that a white-haired, unidentified Amazonian mystery woman lurched into the ring begin Sky and waited…and waited…and waited some more.

When Velvet realised that there was someone else in the ring, she turned to face who it was only to be broadsided and deflated within a matter of mere seconds by way of this mystery woman’s muscular girth and seemingly disproportional strength. And as it seemed that everything alive and pretty within as well as around Velvet had been zapped from her, Sabin has had enough time to recover and start dancing a jig around his newly fallen foe. Sabin slaps on a hooked-leg cover and joyously watches on as the his newly discovered ally slaps down the three count.

Winner: (technically, this match never got started, but the unofficial victory would have to go to Sabin.)

Match #5.
Main Event
Casket Match
Bully Ray                   -vs-           Mr. Anderson

The bottled up hatred, sure fire distain, undisputed anger, and so much more negativity between these two athletes showed itself through their most recent matches, but nowhere near to the intensity and volume as what we were see tonight. Tonight’s match was being tallied as the bare bones conclusion to their long reigning feud; who ever was to win tonight was to hold the victory finale forever.

Forever started with both men wanting to take everything to the other, Bully Ray brought his “never care about the other guy” fury down upon every part of his opponent, he barehanded beat down on seemingly every limb, muscle, and shear inch of Mr. Anderson. In his retaliation, Mr. Anderson fought back with the crazy-minded, cock-eyed, opportunistic bravado by way of taking advantage of every time Bully Ray stopped to take in the carnage to bring the beat down back onto Bully Ray instead of himself. Both men brought steel chairs, the guard rails, and various tables into the battle against the other, and both men felt the positive as well as negative side of each of those tools through out this battle.

As the match neared its eventual end, it was Bully Ray who was standing in control of Mr Anderson, both men standing in the casket which had been brought into the ring itself. Just as Bully Ray was motioning to the crowd that he was about pile drive his opponent out of his wrestling world for good, was when Anderson show just how rapid of a responder he is but turning that set up into a mammoth sized “Mic check” straight into the casket…and then closing the casket on this whole ordeal (once again being meant to be taken in both figuratively and literally).

Winner: Mr. Anderson

Before leaving Manchester City for the night, we are brought backstage once again for one more verbal tussle between MVP and Dixie Carter. Now, for the majority of tonight’s broadcast, we witnessed several sessions in which Dixie was talking rabidly on her phone trying to call in favours and loans for a very important financial venture. As it turns out, what she had been able to do is gather a rather large sum of money in order to offer it to MVP as a way of buying back the stocks he had purchased of TNA and thusly giving full control of TNA back to Dixie.

MVP listens to the offer.

MVP looks over the contract attached to said offer.

And then MVP throws the offer right back in Dixie’s face, restates the reasons for him being here in the first place, and then reminds Dixie yet again that her time in TNA was about to be over!

And that is how and where this week’s episode has us leave everything and everyone…for now anyway.