After spending two extra long hours watching this week’s episode of TNA Impact, I have put it to myself to write the following critique of said showing. Instead of going through each segment that was blasted onto the screen and attempting to transcribe to all of you reading in my usual way, this week I have decided to break it down into two separate yet equal groups. First the “Pops Section” which is where I put forward what I think was the actual highlights of show and then the “Flops Sections” which will give way to most of remaining sections of the program.
Here we go everyone…
Gail Kim – vs – Velvet Sky
On most nights, when there is a divas…err… I mean a Knockout’s match put before me I have taken advantage of the time by way of answering the call of nature so that I can return to my spot on the couch refreshed and ready to watch on after the ladies were done doing their frilly best in the ring. Alas, after being away for the last few weeks, I went against my usual routine and instead I watched as Gail Kim called out The Beautiful People and challenged them to a fight of their choosing.
Of course both Velvet Sky and Angelina Love made their glamour-esqe way to ring side and while one drew all of Kim’s attention the other took the challenge straight to Kim. The match that followed between Gail Kim and Velvet Sky was prettier than I had expected or was originally willing to give any of the ladies credit for. But thanks to there being more than just glitz and pseudo sex appeal being portrayed in the ring, as well as the outside inference tactics by Angelina, it was “all that and a bag of” good wrestling.
In the end, thanks to how it all came together and how it was brought to close (which was thanks to a well placed and well time “eat defeat” by Gail Kim onto Velvet Sky) I was actually glad to have seen it all … well, maybe “glad” is not the word for it, but at least I watched it all and was not disappointed by it.
Bully Ray stalking Dixie Carter
Originating from when Dixie Carter cheated Bully Ray from victory at Sacrifice tonight brings us the point where Bully Ray has taken it upon himself to commandeer control of Dixie Carter’s home. Prior to Dixie and Spud getting on location, Bully Ray apparently had enough time and energy on his hands to redecorate the outside of Carter’s home by way of strategically placed graffiti-tagged tables throughout both lawns and most rooms in the home itself.
Taking the next prisoner of war came after Dixie ordered Spud to enter her home, armed only with a single cameraman, only to have him ending up being captured, hog tied, and set as devalued bargaining chip meant to entice Dixie to enter her own home … her now being alone. And when Bully Ray has everything the way he wants it, with Dixie having nowhere else to go and no one else to do her dirty work, we are set to believe that it will come to an end tonight.
However, and with some thanks to whoever put some actual forethought to this whole segment, it turns out that some forward thinking by the Carter clan eventually shows to be the winning advantage in this single stage of cat and mouse. For just when we see Dixie quivering at the hands of Bully Ray for a everlasting moment is soon followed by seeing Ethan Carter 3rd landing an undefeated strike straight across the back of Bully Ray’s head forcing him to the ground and to lay there unconscious.
Sanada –vs– DJ Z –vs– Tigre Uno
Ever since he has crossed the great blue that is the Pacific Ocean and now on a mission set on him by his great mentor, The Great Muta, Sanada has making his presence and wrestling prowess known by all and respected by many more. Tonight, by way of once again showcasing his abilities, we were given a three way dance for the TNA X-Division thanks to DJ Z and Tigre Uno once again trying to be, even if for one night, one step better than their current champion.
All three combatants were able to take the ring time given to them to highlight their eXtraordinary abilities and eXtreme drive to either become or remain champion, as well as (and at times more importantly) allow the other two not lose steam in their individual campaigns outside of this single match up.
DJ Z was able to show his rebellious nature by landing a few good one hit punches…
Tigre Uno was capable to flip, flop, and fly without showing us any flaws…
But it all came to an exported ending thanks to the defending and STILL defending champion bridging a suplex into a pin fall onto DJ Z.
Eric Young –vs– MVP
For most of the night, Eric Young was the one chasing MVP. This chase was sparked last week when the TNA Director of Talent, MVP, attacked Eric Young and named himself the number one contender for the TNA World Championship. Then that chase was turned inside around when MVP was able to stage off an attack by Young, severely crippled Eric’s left arm, and then call for tonight’s main event to be the two of them for said championship belt.
When it came to the match itself, it seemed to the same wayward see-saw duel we have all seen hundreds of dozens of thousands of times before but, not knowing exactly where TNA wants to go with this storyline right now, it was unclear how tonight’s confrontation was going to end. As the wrestling lords would have it, they may not know where it is all going to go either which may have given way to how tonight did end…with Eric Young beaten down (but not technically defeated) at the collective hands of MVP…and Kenny King…and Bobby Lashley
Kazarian – vs– Crazy Steve (with The Menagerie at ringside)
There a well tested and true to form theory that if you wait around long enough, things that were around in the past will find their way back into the present. While there are still people waiting around for bell bottoms, lava lamps, and disco itself to become mainstream and modern again…similiar hopefuls can be found in wrestling.
I say all that because it seems to me that TNA wants to bring their own version of The Oddities (hash tag 1990sWWE) back to the screen by way of the mix-matched gathering of mumbling and bumbling misfits gathered under the stable name of The Menagerie. I understand how sometimes one may need to reinvent themselves and start anew…but to reinvent several performers and mash them together under a banner that can so easily be compared to the original does nothing but make one feel more than just a bit insulted…unless you like that sort of “re-creation”.
As for the match itself…
If subjecting the viewing public to this collection of mismatched toys in wrestling tights and masks was not bad enough TNA puts Kazarian to face them in person…well, not necessarily all of them, just the one branded as Crazy Steve…but you get what I meant by that. I have nothing against Kazarian, there have been more than enough times where he has put on a good to great match for all to see…I guess he just drew the short straw when it came to this freak show booking. The good news was that it did not last long.
After a few bewildering blows from one man to the other, a turnstile exiting of the ring by Kazarian, and some more unregulated high jinks by Crazy Steve and the gang, an ending was brought to us thanks to when Crazy Steve took down the referee’s pants mid-ring…a ending from out of nowhere which seemed very fitting when involving a group also from nowhere…giving Kazarian the win by disqualification.
Mr. Anderson –vs– James Storm
First, let me say that on most nights when you were to put two such massive men (and by massive I mean in way of athletic size and talent) in the ring you are almost guaranteed that a good if not great match will follow…almost guaranteed. The almost portioned happened on this night.
Second, I am not taking anything away from how both men played their parts in this match up. Both Anderson and Storm were able to show us the skills and abilities that have gotten them to this stage in their career. Both Mr and James were capable to execute, or at least attempt to, a few of their individual signatures manoeuvres onto the other. But both were not able to bring us a satisfactory solution to this whole ordeal.
…instead, Storm spits beer into Anderson’s face was enough to get a pinned win
…as if Anderson has never had beer (or other liquids) spit in his face…