Editor’s Note: Sorry for the delay in getting this on the website, but as I’m sure you’ve noticed, we’ve been hard at work adding several new features to the site. In addition, both Jan and I have spent the past 24 hours working on a book project that will carry us into 2014. It’s an incredibly exciting time for us, at Chinlock.com, and we’re thankful you’ve chosen to support us along the way!
WWE Survivor Series HITS
Zeb Coulter Twerking: YouTube is your best friend when it comes to this hit. Possibly my highlight for Moment of the Year in 2013. This is how stupid you all look when you twerk.
Cody Rhodes, Goldust, Rey Mysterio and The Uso Brothers vs. The Shield (Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins, and Roman Reigns), and The Real Americans (Jack Swagger and Antonio Cesaro): There were only two matches worth going out of your way to see during this year’s edition of WWE Survivor Series, and this was one of them. The spotlight was pointed directly at Roman Reigns in this match, eliminating four of his opponents with devastating Spears. Of course, that wasn’t the only highlight of the match, as Cesaro hit the Cesaro swing on both members of the Uso family (for a total of over 30 revolutions), and Goldust continued to impress beyond wildest expectations. I can’t be the only one shocked that Dean Ambrose was the first eliminated, however that’s the fun of a Survivor Series style match-up. Unexpected eliminations really add an interesting element to this match that can’t be found in any other WWE contest. Excellent opener.
CM Punk and Daniel Bryan vs. The Wyatt Family (Luke Harper and Erick Rowan): This match, for me, was easily the best match of the night. There was a ton of crowd pleasing offense (that really woke the otherwise dead, and for good reason, crowd) and gave the Wyatt Family their first semi-main event on Pay Per View. Damage may have been done to the Family in that they were handled in singles matches by both Punk and Bryan leading into the PPV, and then handled again as a tag team during the PPV, but it’s easy for them to get that heat back. I’m really looking forward to where the Shield/Wyatt Family feud is eventually headed.
Survivor Series MISSES:
Everything else: I’ll get to everything individually, but as a whole this Pay Per View completely blew. My expectations were so low going in, WWE basically just had to turn the lights on, and put a few matches in the ring and I would have been happy, and I somehow left with a worse taste in my mouth than when I went in. I’m really not even sure how that’s possible but I’ll attempt to explain as best I can.
Opening Promo with The Authority: Okay, Triple H. We get it. You’re the coolest guy in the room. No one is cooler, or better, or smarter than Triple H. We’ve all got it. Now can you PLEASE stop forcing yourself down our throats. Starting a Pay Per View, which people invested upwards of $60 to watch in high definition the same way you open your free Monday night television show is downright insulting. And then to further give away the finish to your main event (of which I will get to later) with the biggest red herring in the history of professional wrestling for the show that everyone just got done flushing their money down the toilet on is even worse. If you wrote this yourself, shame on you. If someone else wrote it for you, shame on you for not speaking up. This was atrocious.
Ladies Survivor Series Elimination Match: Earlier I said that surprise eliminations were one of the fun things I liked about a Survivor Series elimination match. Rapid fire, one move and you’re out, eliminations, however, drive me insane. We had repeated instances of that, to the point of making the entire match laughable. A few of the ladies tried hard, but largely this was an embarrassment to professional wrestling. And I paid GOOD money to watch it, too. Ridiculous.
Randy Orton vs. The Big Show: For the World Wrestling Entertainment Championship, this match went, from bell to bell, TEN MINUTES, in the main event slot of one of the four biggest pay per views of the year!! WHAT?! It certainly wasn’t like WWE was running out of satellite time, and called for the match to end early, either, as the PPV left the air twenty minutes before eleven o’clock. Even adding an extra five minutes to this match would have made it feel more important. Instead we had a match not much longer, hard-hitting, or important than any of your typical television main events over the past 10 years. As a matter of fact, I can think of about 400 matches that have aired, for free, on Monday Night RAW alone in the past ten years that blow this piece of garbage out of the water. Just rotten on so many levels. And then the red herring rears it’s ugly head. Yet another WWE Pay Per View main event ending in some kind of a screw job, making 4 in a row. On average, if I have spent $50 on PPV’s per month for the past four months, WWE has effectively screwed me out of $200. Not even Dusty Rhodes at his height of WCW booking has that kind of record. Absolutely sickening.
The State of WWE: World Wrestling Entertainment, as a brand, is hurting right now. They’re doing irreparable damage to their core business. If Royal Rumble, WrestleMania, SummerSlam, and Survivor Series are your four biggest Pay Per Views, in some way, fans had better feel like they have gotten their money’s worth. The build to this show was embarrassing. The show itself should be hidden in the WWE Tape Library dungeon along with ECW December to Dismember and WWF No Way Out of Texas. And what do we have to look forward to? “Faces of the Company” John Cena and Randy Orton, two of the most stale characters on the roster battling on top of the card going forward, while interesting and dynamic characters such as CM Punk, Daniel Bryan, The Shield, and the Wyatt Family toil just below the glass ceiling? And don’t even get me started on Dolph Ziggler, Fandango, or Damien Sandow’s effective burials. Is this the same company that gave us CM Punk vs. The Rock less than one year ago? It sure doesn’t seem like it. The bandwagon is falling apart at the seems and even the most hardcore fans, such as myself, are falling off.